Sunday, March 19, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 358

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You can apply for it online.

9. If it accidentally falls over, please catch it.

8. It's a mistake, that's all.

7. They've sold it, that's it really.

6. He's a survivor, not a victim.

5. Everyone was surprised.

4. Who knew she really, really fancied him

3. I'm amazed you'd never tried popcorn until last Thursday.

2. Bad things they may be, but they are fun.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I got a top in Urban Outfitters, we went to Wagamamas, Dunkin' Donuts and Elliot fell asleep on the way back and I gave him a wet willy.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last) Week ; 357

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. She threw her feet right into it.

9. I can't take much more of this, I thought you'd sorted all of this underpants business out.

8. Let's keep it all private and not talk about it here.

7. Fish fingers is where I'm thinking.

6. He always doing impressions of people, not very well.

5. Snapchat him for god's sake.

4. I shall protest most strongly if it goes ahead.

3. They're going to start giving change again.

2. Keep it clean please.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I only shop their for my loo cleaner, everything else is far too cheap.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Omnibusshambles

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

As goes the Wichelstowe quality bus corridor plan.

The aims of the project already seem to largely exist. The buses in use by Thamesdown are the newer vehicles, fitted with Wi-Fi and information displays, with a highly-recognisable brand (despite the soft market research currently being undertaken by the new owners), with a high frequency of service.

The only aims not already in existence seem to be a quicker journey time, limited stops and traffic priority.

Over £3 million is allocated to speed up the number 11 from 22 minutes journey time to 10 minutes, as the original plan for Wichelstowe foresaw a rapid transit (posh name for fast bus) route.

Swindon Borough Council propose to achieve this by getting rid of pedestrian crossings in Old Town and diverting buses along Wood Street and diverting general traffic in other ways.

Firstly, the 22 minute journey time is from Waitrose and as anyone knows, no-one commutes from Waitrose into town. Secondly, the pedestrian crossings in Old Town are necessary. The footpaths on Devizes Road at the northern end are narrow enough currently that two people have trouble squeezing past each other, let alone if the crossing is removed. The shared space at Regent Circus does work well, but pedestrians only have to look one way on each crossing. Try removing the northern Devizes Road crossing and then attempt to cross over, looking both ways, with no traffic lights and a roadway surface that matches the footpath with a lorry pinning you to the wall of the buildings.  Thirdly, Swindon Centric can't imagine the Wood Street glitterati wanting such common things as omnibuses zooming along ferrying working class people to work.

Trust SBC to want to spend wonga without realising what they've already bought, already had installed, and already don't use. The bus gate, lights and junction on Wootton Bassett Road are currently only used for westbound buses, despite being built for townbound buses from Wichelstowe and has never been used.

Why to goodness does SBC not investigate running a bus from Wichelstowe via Redposts Drive and into town either via the unused bus infrastructure via Penzance Drive and the Outlet or east along Wootton Bassett Road and the former bus route of William Street? The journey time would be nearer the 10 minute mark via William Street than the expensive, strange and dangerous proposals through Old Town.

Thursday, March 09, 2017

The Mechanics of Trust

If the Mechanics' Trust got a pound for every column inch of coverage of their cause then the building in question would be gold-plated by now.

The latest grand plan from them deems that they want to take over the entirety of the Railway Village. The trust also want £15 - £20 million of Heritage Lottery Fund money to cover the cost of repairing the Mechanics', but they fail to see the wood for the trees.

There's no way the HLF will give two bids of money of such quantities to Swindon for two projects, the Mechanics' and the new museum and art gallery (regardless of whether it will be on the Wyvern car park site or if they get drunk and decide to go with the London Street carriage works site that the Mechanics' Trust are so certain on).

Swindon Borough Council and Forward Swindon already have a plan for the carriage works site, plus Forward Swindon have their own feasibility study into the Mechanics'. The latter was missed out of the Adver piece.

The track record of the Trust is patchy at a very generous best :

- Bakers Arms. Given to the Trust after closing in 2012. Still closed.

- Central Community Centre. Given to the Trust from SBC. According to news provided by an independent source (that independent source being, erm, the Mechanics' Trust), it's being run well.

- The Old Railway Cottage. Given to the Trust from SBC. Opened a handful of times, but no prospect of opening regularly.

- An allotment plot. Given to the Trust (along with the purchase of new tools). Has been overgrown ever since.

- A People's Lottery-funded development officer who left part way through his tenure due to creative differences.

On top of this, the Trust want to be given :

The Health Hydro.

The old Railway Museum.

The Cricketers Pub.

Plus they want £50,000 to put together a business plan for their plan for the Mechanics' building.

Do we trust the Trust?

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 356

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Clinton should do it again.

9. Put it away, everyone does not want to see that.

8. They were getting dirtier than was reasonable.

7. She's round mine, no, not yours, 'cos if she was at yours, she wouldn't be round mind.

6. Chaos is so massively overused.

5. It's just chicken with a fur coat on.

4. They say their priority is to the shareholders, which it always has been.

3. It doesn't mean anything if she doesn't leave him.

2. What's that sound this morning, is someone running an electric saw?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Let's try something new, you not lying to my face.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, February 17, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 355

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. If you get this wrong everyone will blame you.

9. There's not enough solicitors in the world to stop it.

8. It's coming right towards you, look.

7. Personally Sarah has had her chips lots of times.

6. I'm not a medical professional you know.

5. No they're playing at home after the shambles of last time.

4. Just get it done and choose the bulgar wheat.

3. He's not elected, he's a lazy tosser.

2. It got sold, to Stagecoach I think.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Keep thinking you're as good looking as you believe and we'll all pretend to go along with it.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, February 10, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 354

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. They're going to sell them and convert them into shops.

9. He spent 15 minutes reading out loud the email he'd written making sure it sounded okay.

8. Oh babes, I really don't care.

7. Some things are best left unsaid.

6. She keeps all her packets and tins in alphabetical order.

5. He thought that there was an East Korea.

4. They're selling it today, so sad, they should have let them do a management buy out in the 1980s like they asked.

3. No, there's a burst pipe, you'll have to go right round past the roundabout.

2. That exposes the whole thing of how you communicate enthusiasm.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I drink goats milk, but only on a Thursday.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.